Life is Beautiful…
I have a confession.
My faith is extremely timid. Maybe frail is a better word. Three weeks ago I sat in my neurosurgeon’s office expecting to schedule a 4th brain surgery later that week. His reply of “your tumor has spread into the Corpus callosum; there’s nothing I can do surgically” did nothing to remove my timidity.
Fortunately for me, my wife doesn’t fill the prescriptions doctors so easily give out on the length of life. However, that’s a lot easier done when you aren’t the one personally receiving the script.
And so her last three weeks have been a whirlwind of phone calls, faxes, and internet-searches for any treatment, clinical trial, or blood-red orchid that could be my fountain of life. My job has been to avoid any more violent and debilitating seizures – like the one last Tuesday that resulted as a misstep on the narrow 6 carbs a day, high fat path to ketosis.
These things are what I call “Life-Capsizing” events. This is when the vessel of your surroundings becomes so turbulently unstable that it actually flips over, dumping you and your life out into open water. And when this happens you better learn to swim real fast. And I’ve learned a lot.
I’ve learned to spend as much time outside as possible because I smell toxins that others don’t, and I can’t handle the headaches. Some sort of viral “environmental disease” that seems to be connected to my tumor. I’ve learned to chug coconut, flax, or hemp oil with my meat and veggies each meal as this fat is my main fuel source.I’ve learned to plug my nose when I vomit each day to keep from getting a bloody nose.
I’ve learned it costs a hundred bucks to have some university doctor look at your scan and call to say you cannot do their clinical trial. And I’ve learned how beautiful it is to have friends and family that love you and care for you.
But these are the easy things to learn. The hard things are how to grow some guts and get rid of frail faith. How to truly trust. Or as my sister reminded me last night, how to truly quit trusting in yourself and put your life in God’s hands. How to rely upon “A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.” ~ Psalm 34:19-20
* I’ve been dictating my last few blogs with the help of family as my health has declined. I will be getting a MRI this Thursday and ask for your prayers as to what the next step should be. Please pray and feel free to join the prayer support team at prayfordaniel.com
May 24, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I am praying for you Daniel.
May 24, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Daniel, I read your posts and my heart goes out to you and Logan. I will most definitely pray for you both.
May 24, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Ben and I are praying for you and Logan and so are the boys.
May 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm
You are in my thoughts today!
May 24, 2011 at 4:04 pm
We are praying for you and your family, Daniel. Your faith is such an encouragement to us all.
May 24, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Daniel,
You are in my and many others prayers @ the Stevensville Church.
I will be praying on Thursday! You Mom is coming…. hang on!
Love to you and Logan, Jane S.
May 24, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Daniel, my heart goes out to you. I believe God will heal you.
May 24, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Daniel, I know your mom from work and just had to tell you that we in Georgia are praying for you, your wife and the rest of your family. “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much,” and so many are remembering you. Hang in there.
May 24, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Daniel, you are constantly in my prayers. I’m so glad that your mom can spend some time with you. Take good care of her, OK?
Hey, Allison, do you want me to play/arrange for Cradle Roll piano for a couple of weeks in June?
vivian raitz
May 24, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Daniel,
I am praying for you and Logan right now and continue to pray for a miracle in your life. It can happen. Believe me it happened me I am walking miracle myself. If God hadn’t healed me I wouldn’t be here today so hang in there Daniel. Never give up on Father above keep looking up and keep beliving in that miracle from God. Don’t let Satan down that what he wants us to do give up. Stay strong and hang on to your Aunt Jane she’s awesome christian women of God and she will give you strength when you get weak. She goes to Awesome Church with great Pastor and Prayor warriors. Always remember Proverbs 3:3-6 Not lean your undstandings,he will direct your path. read the scripture. It helps me when times are tough along with others scriptures.
lots of love
May 25, 2011 at 1:44 am
Prayers and much Aloha coming your way.
May 25, 2011 at 6:58 am
Daniel
My heart aches as I read your words today. Buy I know that even now God can do above and beyond what we ask or think. Please know that we continue the prayer journey with you. Lifting you and Logan and your entire family up to the Father today.
Love and prayers
Pastor Don
May 25, 2011 at 7:56 am
praying for you and your family…..it just can’t be too much longer before Christ comes back to end all of this heartache. thank you for sharing your journey, you are impacting many people with your faith.
May 25, 2011 at 8:22 am
Daniel the text you cited is actually one that I read for worship this morning (not knowing your connection to it) and I thought of you. We think of you and pray for you and Logan and your family so often. Cling to God. Be still and know He is God.
May 25, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Dear Daniel, I’m an Aunt to Tyler Blackwelder…..have heard much about you. Sending lots of prayers. I have been attending a very special place called the Healing Prayer Rooms….they are located all over the world and pray people out of very serious situations. Here’s the link: http://healingrooms.com/index.php?src=location check it out Dear One…..it’s fabulous!
Much love,Lana
May 25, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Daniel,
Thank you for sharing your journey with me. You are in my prayers as is Logan and the rest of your family.
May 26, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Daniel,
You are in the safest place you could be- on the front lines of the battle and in the Hand of God. It’s the paradox of life. To truly live the fullest life- dying daily; to love deeply- to let go, allow freedom. To fall in the physical battle- while triumphing on the spiritual front! All of heaven is rejoicing that, even though this world is drenched in the causualties of the cosmic war, they see you, one of God’s human children who has grasped the larger picture. You can say with Job, “Though he slay me, yet will I TRUST Him.” And God is able to say, “This is my son, in whom I am well pleased.”
Take courage, my fellow soldier. The battle is almost won. “For we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.”
May 26, 2011 at 11:37 pm
Sent one up for you bro.
May 27, 2011 at 5:29 am
You and Logan are in our prayers daily. We just found out this week that one of our farmer friend’s daughters who has struggled with a brain tumor has been told there is not another option for her. I just want to scream and shake my fist at Satan and God sometimes and tell them to end this controversy now!! I do not know God’s time line, but hold on to your faith and know there is an end to this controversy…..this is a promise! I am glad your mom is coming to be with you. Love and prayers,
Michelle Chase
June 3, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Hey am so sorry I did not know how bad off you were I will pray for you and your wife love you brother you were always nice to me in school anyway I will pray for you right now
June 10, 2011 at 9:38 pm
Daniel, even thought I didn’t have the chance to meet you … just reading your text messages I realize that God has a special plan for you. May Him continues to give power and knowledge to make the best decisions. May Him be your best friend in your daily trials. I am pretty sure that what are you going though it is not easy, but don’t forget : He will be beside you … everyday, and every time ! You and your wife are such a beautiful couple. God is the only one who knows the future. Whatever the future is going to be …. don’t lose your faith …. keep talking about God each day of your life … and especially for those who don’t believe in Him. You don’t image that your story can have a huge impact in the youth’s today . Have a nice Sabbath ! God bless you. I By the way, my name is Ana Luiza. I am from Brazil. I was blessed to hear about you. I will put you and your wife in my prayers. 🙂