Sooner…or Later?

A) Andrew Stevens

B) Marilu Henner

C) Landie Prehar

 

What do these three people have in common?

Answer: They all have extreme brain conditions that make them very different than you. That’s right. If you just so happen to be reading this blog right now, you can be sure these folks are different than you. How so, you might ask? Well, Andrew wears a helmet in case he falls over, Marilu remembers every detail of her total health makeover, and we’re not really sure what’s wrong with that third dude, although we hear he’s considering the helmet option.

Andrew Stevens has Lennox-Gastaut syndrome, a severe form of epilepsy, which causes him to go into dozens of unconscious seizures every day. He has a German Sheperd that can sense his seizures and use a magnet to trigger an implanted device that calms Andrew’s brain. Sounds useful.

I might have enjoyed the security of a helmet each of the numerous times last week I quickly sat down on the floor, put my head in my hands and prayed that God would calm my racing heart, beating twice as fast as 30 seconds prior. Each time those stupid neurons misfired and struck a discordant note in the harmony my nerves normally operate in, a helmet might have been nice.

Marilu is one of six people identified with autobiographical memory, which is absolutely nuts. She can remember every single day of her life! Dates, details, the whole nine yards, her memory is like a DVD player of her life! What were you doing on April 11, 1970? Marilu could tell you, and it’s not rocket-science for her brain.  Sounds lovely.

I also think it’s lovely that Avastin, a cancer drug I currently enjoy intravenously every 3-4 weeks has been rejected by the FDA as a treatment for breast cancer because “it’s benefits may be outweighed by its dangerous side effects”, according to CNN.

And it’s grand that I pop 10 chemotherapy pills every 1-2 months, as my lueko and thrombocytopenia allows (low wbcs or plts). It makes me feel good that in 2004 Clinical Oncology published a study showing that chemotherapy, our gold-standard cancer treatment, averages a 5-year survival success rate of 2.1% for all cancers.

It’s ironic to me that I wash my hair with Borax to avoid the chemicals in shampoo, but I ingest pills that would kill a baby. Or that I urinate on my tiptoes to stimulate the Chinese yongquan point and boost kidney energy, but Avastin can perforate the GI tract and cause kidney malfunction.

Ironic or not, method or madness, it’s all good! All part of the plan. But not my plan. Let me clarify: it’s really God’s plan for my life. You see, my plan initially involved none of this. My plan was to get over this whole thing a long time ago. Sooner rather than later. This was my plan.

I guess that’s why I’m thankful for this whole nutty journey that a glioblastoma multiforme has brought to my life. Before cancer, I kinda expected I’d come to God some time, but probably later rather than sooner. What’s the rush, right? I’ll just enjoy life till I see some end-time events roll around, then get my act together. Maybe the mark of the beast or something, I dunno.

It’s ironic to me that I thought it would be easier to do this later rather than sooner. It’s easy, acceptable, and sometimes popular to be a Christian right now, yet many of us don’t even go to church or crack our bibles. What makes us think we’ll be infused with magical willpower when things get tough and there is no church or bible to crack?

“For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now—and never to be equaled again.” -Mathew 24:21

I thought I was different than everyone else, and that suddenly possessing  this magic willpower would not be a problem for me. However, looking back on my pre-cancer mindset, this seems to be more of an extreme brain condition than the one I would develop.

The reasoning behind my thought process was quite simple: It’s super boring reading my bible or hanging out with old people at church. Heaven sounds cool, but that’s a long way off. I think cancer opened my eyes to the fact that it’s not that far off, and I don’t quite think I understood love all that well. You can’t love someone you spend zero time with. 

I never had an interest in my friend Logan throughout high school until I spent some time with her at a Christmas banquet a few months before I graduated. I thought she was super shy and pretty boring. I basically asked her to a date because I thought she was hot.

Taking the time to get to know miss Logan has changed my course till the end of time, and she even changed her last name to prove it!

The whole premise of the bible seems to be quite similar. It seems to be about love: Gepetto loves Pinocchio. Pinnochio forgets all about him and goes to Pleasure Island. Creator sacrifices himself to save creation. Happy ending once the created remembers the creator and shows it.

“Jesus replied, ‘If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” –John 14:15

Maybe a perfect-health diagnosis for me is better later rather than sooner. I have no idea, but then again, my ideas aren’t really a part of my plan anymore. But if you just so happen to be reading this blog right now, don’t think it ironic if you remember your creator’s plan sooner rather than later.