The Cher-Crow, Saw 3D, and other scary stuff…

Last Halloween I had to spend the entire day by myself in Branson, Missouri. This is no way to celebrate a holiday, especially one with such significance. It was a Saturday, so I went to church in the morning, the skatepark in the afternoon, and as the evening came I reviewed my options for holiday entertainment.

While timeshare marketing (street hustling) has its cons – everyone hates you – it also has its perks-one of which can be getting into activities or shows for free. Branson has many options-magic shows, jubilees, jamborees, The Baldknobbers, Andy Williams, old-people watching, etc., etc. but none of these were good options for celebrating Satan’s holiday (as many Christians like to call it).

Branson had one legitimate option that I just couldn’t resist:

I never did much trick-or-treating or haunted house action as a kid. Probably cuz I was always in a Pathfinders outfit collecting cans for poor people.  But I did enjoy Jurassic Park, my T-Rex remote control,  my pet stegosaurus, allosaurus, triceratops, pterodactyl, and ankylosaurus (+ his rider – Tom).

After waiting my turn, I entered the monster asylum with high hopes of a great time. Ten minutes later I emerged from the den of horror in  what was literally an all out sprint. That stupid midget with his hockey mask and axe chased me all the way down the last corridor! My heart slowly quit pounding as I embarrassingly faced chuckles from the locals in the lobby.  Good thing his friend with the chainsaw didn’t chase me: he was much taller and could have caught me easily.

The dinosaur side was much more tame with 50 life size creatures, and no robot T-Rex to attack you in the building’s outhouse. I could barely hear my thoughts above the screams and roars in the building, but I knew on my way out that the business owners of the establishment were on to something. Good thing its open all year long.

Fortunately for me, I’ve already had my scare for Halloween 2010, and have no more need of celebrating  the accomplishments of past Pagans.

The Cher-crow was quite enough for me…some of the other Park City contestants were more entertaining than frightening.

Only the kids of Park City, UT would make a Shaun-White-crow…except for maybe this girl I know in Idaho.

Anyways, I’m not sure who is into all this scary/horror stuff, but it obviously sells, or they wouldn’t be producing so many horror movies each year. Just the covers of some of these movies is plenty enough to creep me out.

Question #1: Who “celebrates Halloween” weekend by taking the fam to the theater, donning 3d glasses, and seeing folks chop each other up???????

I get my fair share of “scary moments” each time I feel inflammation in my head or like I might have a seizure, so I didn’t have the desire to watch the movie trailer. Instead, I watched a review for the video game. Question #2: seriously? a video game?The Review’s main complaint was that the puzzles were boring, but the reviewer was excited that the game added melee combat fighting, something the movie didn’t feature…

Not exactly my idea of scary family entertainment. I’m not even sure if there should be such a thing as scary family entertainment, although I’m pretty sure this christmas card photo sums up the phrase, and it also ties in my last blog post to this one quite succinctly.

I’m not one of those Halloween haters who spits on trick-or-treaters when they come through the neighborhood. I don’t really care a whole lot about how Halloween got started, or whether or not you decorate your house with skulls and spiders. My apathy should be demonstrated by the fact that you are  reading this post a whole month away from Halloween…the “your timing seriously sucks, Daniel” conscience in my head is not going off.

However, I do easily recognize the serious degradation that our human race is sinking into. Halloween is a nice reminder of 2 Timothy 3:1-5. It says (paraphrased)

“There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be…abusive, unholy, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, lovers of pleasure, not lovers of good or God…Have nothing to do with them.”

It’s also a somewhat scary reminder of Mathew 24:45-51. It is a parable about a servant and his master who is gone on a trip.

“Suppose that servant is wicked, and says to himself, ‘My master is staying away a long time,’ and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of.

He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Those of you who will go see Saw 3D will probably thank your lucky stars you are not one of the people trapped in the movie.

And I don’t know about you, but I think Jesus’ prediction of this real-life event is a bit more scary; definitely one I’ll focus on avoiding.  I guess we can all thank our lucky stars that we have some advice on how to avoid the events of Saw 3D: having nothing to do with it.

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2 Responses to “The Cher-Crow, Saw 3D, and other scary stuff…”

  1. Karen Palmisano Says:

    I was searching for pictures of flames and found your blog while trying to determine if the above picture could be used freely or if I could get permission to use it.

    My experience has not been life-threatening, but I do understand drawing closer to God through adverse circumstances. God bless you and your family.

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