How to join a nudist colony or make more money…

Last week my wife and I tried to join a nudist colony for their weekend retreat program. This is usually the perfect time of year for nudists because of the warm, sunny days and the crisp fall evenings.

Nudists have a much better chance against cancer because of the increased sun exposure, which brings more organic vitamin D, which is extremely cytotoxic to cancer cells. Don’t believe me? Go to page 50 here:

We first considered the nudist lifestyle when we lived in Maui. Little Beach is not as popular as adjacent Big Beach because it supports the increased vitamin D program. The participants are not Mr. or Mrs. America either. Little Beach is full of old folks who shouldn’t be participating in any such program.

Unfortunately, the Beaver Creek Ranch is currently closed due to mosquitoes, which can prove to be quite a disturbance to those in the buff who aren’t willing to soak their  skin with chemical-ridden repellent. Our weekend getaways this fall will have to be done elsewhere. Bummer! While we were there, some loser surprised us bystanders by the entrance.

Due to the little mosquito dilemna, I had to look around for another opportunity. To my delight, I discovered the Utah Naturalists, Inc. group! It is a (and I quote)

“family-oriented nudist club providing recreation and relaxation…You can bring the whole family along to go hiking, sunning and camping with you. Indoor, you can always relax and find a quiet time while enjoying a hot tub bath. Theme parties are also held occasionally to help spruce up the camaraderie among members…Activities include houseboat trips, white-water raft trips, weekend auto tours, holiday parties, potluck socials, and dances”

Too bad Salt Lake City is too far of a drive for us. It’s just too much extra mileage. Bummer, that would have been fun…

Since my wife and I can’t fight cancer with vitamin D, I decided to follow in the footsteps of Kody Brown. Kody makes enough money to try whatever health treatment he wants, even if insurance doesn’t cover it.  He is now a semi-celebrity  due to his new reality TV show.  If I lived like  Kody, I could I try to get on TV and make some money.

Kody and I are both salesman, we’ve both had shaggy hair, and we both are passionate about our faith, so I figured I could follow in his footsteps. Plus, if I live like Kody, I’ll have more workers to  help with expenses.

These lovely ladies are not sisters, despite the name of the show. They are Kody’s four wives. His first wife (on the far left) recently became friends with the brunette (on the far right) and invited her to join the family. She figured that Kody would enjoy being married to  her new friend, so she introduced them and he did just that.

Fortunately for me, my wife Logan fully supported the plan, so she texted all her single friends and invited them to join our family. Fortunately for her, they all fully opposed the plan, and said ‘no’ rather quickly. Something about it being “illegal” or something like that.

After this happened, I was royally distressed. I have been working full-time on my health, and researching every possibility for living a cancer-free lifestyle. The mosquito problem and driving distance to Salt Lake shut down my great plan for more vitamin D.

I also have been feeling bad for not being able to currently contribute to our family’s income. My wife works very hard to meet this need, while making sure I try every available remedy or treatment to get rid of cancer once and for all. It is expensive, and sometimes I feel bad for not contributing much.I find myself thinking I need to get started with a job other than fighting cancer.

One thing I have learned this past year is to quit trying to figure out what the future holds. I’ve learned to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride God has in store. I’ve learned the necessity of looking for ways to learn from challenges and grow from trials. This is never easy, if it was, I’d be jumping for joy with every setback (which obviously never happens!).

However, I think there is something to be said about being stuck in a situation you can do nothing about. I can try to control everything, but the reality is that God is the only one who ultimately has the final say in our circumstances. Unless you don’t want that, then you simply ignore Him, which is a piece of cake. Trust me, I’ve done it before. When  I’m stuck without control and I simply let God take the wheel, I give up on making every decision based on what I think is best. While this sounds stupid, I can honestly say its worth a try. And its especially great for my wife, who isn’t stuck without her clothes or without a husband to call her own.


3 Responses to “How to join a nudist colony or make more money…”

  1. Logan Harper Says:

    Great blog babe! You are such a talented writer!

  2. Craig Chaya Says:

    Dude, I loved reading this post – made me cry with laughter!

  3. allison harper Says:

    One of my favorite posts!!! I was there for the rediscovery of that nudist ranch up in the mountains. What a fun weekend I had visiting Daniel and Logan with Melissa, and hiking at 10 to 12,000 ft in elevation. I miss you, Daniel.

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